What is bullying at work?

Workplace abuse is defined as follows: ‘Workplace ‘abuse’ is: Repeated, injurious, ill treatment of one or more persons by one or more perpetrators consisting of unwarranted coercive, intimidating, or otherwise humiliating conduct directed at one or more recipients.

8 Types of workplace bullies

The best way to cope with a bully is to get to the bottom of what he or she is doing and find out why. We have identified eight basic bully types that show up in an office:

Screaming Mimi: Bully – this type of bully will be loud, obnoxious, critical, and has it out for everyone. They will be critical of their coworkers, will try to destroy everyone, will have an obnoxious personality, and is fueled by hatred. They can spread tension and anxiety everywhere they go.

Two-headed snake: When you’re around this co-worker they can be a a useful colleague and trusted ally. But when you’re not, they stab you in the back, ruin your reputation, take credit for your work or otherwise trash you.

The constant critic: This individual will never be satisfied. They will aim to undermine your self-esteem and confidence through endless and often ill-warranted criticism.

Gatekeeper: This worker controls access to the resources or means of doing the job – the time, the money, the supplies. They like that you need them and won’t let you forget that you need to come to them for help.

 Attention Seeker: This person always wants to be the center of attention, this bully finds ways to ingratiate himself to his manager and to stay on your good side, while also proclaiming to be very kind and supportive to the rest of the team. They’ll turn on you if think you’re not appreciating them enough.

Wannabe: This worker acts like he can’t be replaced but lacks the skills and knowledge to do things on his own, so he makes it even harder for his more competent peers to keep looking good. If that fails, he’ll spin the tiniest of details into whole reports that you can’t read without getting a lap full of talk.

Guru: This is One who is successful in his area of interest. The Guru has the subtle pride of one who is good at his job. He won’t consider his co-workers or accept that he’s wrong. Because they are better than everybody else, they assert that the rules do not apply to them.

Sociopath: Smooth, persuasive, intelligent and good at talking, he will reach senior management grade in no time, but he lacks empathy and will play with your emotions, your plans, gaslight and slander you to get what he wants.

The sociopath’s own charisma then attracts followers who in turn take advantage of the tyrant’s subsequent success to climb the company ladder.

 

How to deal with bullies in the workplace: 6 tips

Confronting bullies can be frustrating, but remember, you’re dealing with a situation in which someone preys upon your self-confidence, and you might fear the bully. However, whatever combination of these strategies you employ, you’ll be regaining your power.

1. Speak up

Shut it down before it goes too far by calling out the bullying behaviour of your friend when he oversteps the boundaries. State that you want them to stop this behaviour now. For example “This is bullying, and I won’t let you treat me with disrespect”. With this tactic, people at work know they can’t act badly and get away with it as you set boundaries.

Whether in person, or remotely through the internet, you should power pose (stand with legs wide apart, arms extended). In person, the effect is two-fold, it also communicates authority at the same time.

First, if you don’t know what to say, step one is to state the problem. Then come the consequences. and step three the solution.

For example: Raising your voice makes it harder for the team to brainstorm a proper solution. I’m sorry, [name]. But I see you screaming. Okay, next. Let’s keep our mouths limited and find a solution.”

2. Document everything

Create a journal of who said what, when, where, why, and to whom during meetings, face-to-face meetings, and phone conversations. Print and keep a copy of problematic emails. If someone challenges your performance, save the metrics of the project you worked on, plus any positive feedback or thanks you received for your work to prove your points.

It also means you gather some pretty strong evidence to back your claims up, and it makes it harder for your stalker to gaslight you.

3. Research HR policies

Bullying in the office is not against the law, but to prevent harassment, insulting behaviour and intimidation, many employers have formal HR policies in place. Go to your employee handbook and see if there are statements in there that refer to the organisation’s values ​​and to what the employee can expect from their contribution. If you decide to go to management, you can use this knowledge to make your case stronger.

If you cannot resolve the problem within the company, see if an employment law lawyer can tell you what steps you might be able to take. Many lawyers provide free initial consultations to job applicants and employees dealing with such issues. Others charge a small fee.

4. Talk to someone you trust

But if you’ve found no relief yourself, it might be time to tell someone. If your manager is part of the problem, talk to one of your co-workers, a coach or a mentor. Explain what happened, what steps you’ve taken and the outcome.

Remember to think about office relationships: if you’re going to confide in someone, choose your supervisor as a last resort. Try to let them act as a neutral third party. Speak with HR beforehand.

This might be someone who has recommended the abuser to you for whatever reason, be it professional or personal; in any case, they might be less inclined to help if it involves a revelation about the antagonist. Conversation might come back to her and if they find out. They may get upset. So be careful who you confide in.

5. Make the business case

The next option is to make a wider case against bullying by senior management to force better policies – cold as it sounds, pretending that your complaints are about the organisation rather than you might improve your chances of getting a sympathetic hearing.

Document exactly how much a bully costs the company in terms of turnover, lost productivity or days missed. Point to specific incidents of wasted time and lost resources. Clearly communicate the outcomes anticipated from this process and what will transpire if your expectation is not realised.

6. Start your job search

Far too often, the victim of bullying is forced out of her job: if you feel you’ve exhausted all your options and aren’t able to cope any more, do consider finding a workplace that looks after its staff and tries to promote an anti-bullying culture. Ideally it would be good if it was fixed, however your health and mental state is more important than any job.