Difficult Behaviours Series Part Two

Controlling your nerves

When you’re face to face with people, they read your reactions. To change your reactions change the way you’re thinking about it. If you’re face to face, you can also help yourself and the customer breathe properly.

Calm yourself down and overcome those nerves. Self talk is really important for you to change perception. This will in turn change the image your view of the situation. We can change your perception, which creates a new result.

If you think about things differently you will feel differently. You will then act differently and you’ll get a different result. Changing your customers thoughts will help you get the right results also. Our programming is connected to our body language. By changing the thinking patterns, we ultimately change the result where we end up.

Asking questions, to the other person.

We often use open questions and closed questions. In training professional staff, we teach that “the person that asked the questions is in control of the conversation.” So if they’re upset, it isn’t time to run them down. Have some questions, open questions, positive questions, that gets them talking. That’s another way of getting them helping them to get it off their chest is asking some relevant but not too complicated questions.

Sometimes you got to think on his on your feet to ask the right questions. Or get yourself a script that’s close to you that you can use to make sure you hit the right ones.

Use Visual Accessing Signals

Do you know when you’re looking at someone, you can actually tell whether they’re actually telling the truth or telling a lie? Because the eyes access the part of the brain that holds that information. So if you’re looking at them and asking questions, watching the eyes will help you identify where the useful information is.

 

The key to working our which side on someone is constructive (Creativity) and the other where they remember (Memory) is to profile them earlier on in the conversation by asking three questions. If you ask two in the past, they will access the remembered side. If you ask a future question, you will find they will construct the response. For example: “Have you had a good day” or “Have you been busy? “(2 in the past) and “What are you doing later today?” or “What are you up to this weekend?” (Future orientated question). This helps you build a quick profile to work out if someone is telling you the truth or creating the response.

Body language is the lion’s share of communication reading body language and it is part and parcel of everybody’s job. So tone is the biggest thing that you read on the phone however in person it is body language.

You don’t look at one gesture as being everything. I mean, I can sit here with my arms folded it means I’m just comfortable. But if I’ve got a frown on my face and some other gesture that gives your another reason to think about.  Read it in clusters or grouped signals just like reading sentences.

Eye contact when you’re face to face is important.

Sometimes it can be a cultural difference where they don’t look us in the eye, but usually people who don’t make eye contact with us it rings alarm bells with us. Be careful that you don’t jump to wrong conclusions.

Don’t take the abuse personally.

What can we do so that we don’t take it as personal as what we are currently maybe doing?

Know that anybody rings you up, they are not attacking you. They’re attacking your system. It’s not you personally. So you’ve got to remember that they will attack you personally. If they think that you’re not listening to them or you’re not going to help them. They will attack you personally. They’ll call you names and things like that to make you upset.

That’s the main aim when people who are upset if you don’t acknowledge their feelings or you don’t acknowledge that they’ve got a valid point. Then they will start to attack you so that you feel just as bad. They do it for a reason. It’s very rare that people attack you for no reason.

You just have to be aware of the fact that it’s not personal. They litreally just might need to bend and get out their emotions and feelings.  If you take yourself almost out of the equation, you’re just there to listen and hear what they have to say.

Apologise for things and do what you promise.

Apologise are great for de-escalating conflict. Be careful in wording your apology because litigation might follow. You can say “I’m story that you feel this way.” Or “I’m sorry that’s the experience that you’ve had.“ Acknowledge yes, “that must be it must be difficult for you”. Another example is “I’m sorry that this has taken so long to sort out”  You can acknowledge and know when to say sorry, even if you haven’t done something wrong, personally.

Give an alternative rather than say no.

Why is it so difficult to say no.

People are scare of rejection. They’re scared of the reaction. They may avoid conflict or even ignore as they don’t have the right tools and scripts to use with the customer.

The Empathy no I think that’s what you were alluding is to repeat the request in your own words and then say, no, we’d love to help. However, it’s not that it’s not in the contract that we do that.

You could also say, we unfortunately don’t have the resources to do that, however we do know someone that does. Or We cannot access that right now because our IT systems are down however I would be happy to look into it as soon as they are back up.

There is also the “Good News Sandwich” or Burger, where you place the No between two positive statements for example: Its nice that you came in today (Good). Unfortunately I have back to back meetings (Bad), however if you wish to set an appointment with the reception, ill be more than happy to have a chat. (Good)