Passive aggressive communication is a way for individuals to express their emotions indirectly without addressing feelings. It allows them to release tension through actions or reactions avoiding conflict and the potential consequences that come with it.

Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly explains that adopting behaviour, during childhood can have long lasting effects. While occasional displays of passivity or aggression are normal if these behaviours become habitual relationships may. Lead to mistrust among those involved.

It is important to recognise these patterns and learn how to effectively express emotions in order to foster connections if you find yourself frequently resorting to aggression. Here are common behaviours worth considering as a step towards self awareness and improving relationships with loved ones;

Refusing to communicate or cooperate;
Suppressing communication as noted by Manly can be highly detrimental in any relationship. Choosing silence of engaging in dialogue when experiencing frustration or anger often leads to hurt feelings and confusion.
Research from 2014 has found a link between withdrawing from a partner in response to demands and increased anxiety levels as decreased satisfaction within the relationship. This withdrawal also results in reduced connection and impaired communication, between the parties involved.

Examples of stonewalling include;

• Ignoring someone as a means of punishment.
• Pretending to be engrossed in an activity in order to avoid conversation.
• Leaving a conversation abruptly without any notice.

Making comments.
Sarcasm despite being witty and humorous can sometimes reveal animosity. It’s a way of expressing behaviour by using veiled remarks, like insincerely thanking someone for a thoughtful gift.

People often resort to sarcasm as a means of getting their point across with risk avoiding the tension that comes from verbal expression. Dr. Joshua Klapow, a psychologist and behavioural scientist identifies self esteem and a fear of conflict or confrontation as underlying factors behind passive aggressive behaviour.

Pretending to agree.
Acting agreeable on the surface while secretly disagreeing is another form of behaviour. Both Klapow and Manly suggest that this behaviour, which involves initially going along with an idea only to change your stance on indicates aggression.

Similar to using sarcasm to diffuse tension Manly proposes that pretending to agree can be a way of avoiding disagreements

Shifting blame.
Blaming others of taking responsibility for ones mistakes is yet another form of passive aggressive behaviour according to Klapow. This became evident when the attention shifted from an individuals lateness to blaming their surroundings.

Individuals with tendencies often portray themselves as victims in order to evade accountability, for their errors or shortcomings as pointed out by Manly.
This kind of behaviour can appear as a resistance to forgive or let go of standing resentments.

Covert Undermining
This type of behaviour involves secretly causing harm to someones project or reputation without confronting them directly according to Klapow. It stems from a lack of self confidence as individuals who engage in actions often try to hide their involvement. Feelings of insecurity, about ones value may contribute to aggressive behaviour especially when dealing with influential individuals as indicated by a study conducted in 2013 with undergraduate students.

Intentional Non Compliance
Ignoring a request can be another way aggressive behaviour is expressed says Klapow. This indirectly conveys unwillingness or disapproval of communicating it. Procrastination is often seen as a sign of aggression; addressing issues directly is important to prevent tensions from escalating.

Avoiding Responsibility with Excuses
Choosing to make up a work related obligation of improvestly declining a friends request for help moving is an example of evading responsibility through excuses.
Of resorting to excuses when asked out try suggesting compromises that benefit both parties so that an agreement can be reached. Recognising the signs of aggression is crucial, in high pressure situations.

Strategies for Dealing with Passive Aggression

Aggression was quite prevalent among professionals in Israel as evidenced by a six month investigation conducted in 2017 which recorded over 700 incidents. It is essential to understand approaches to address this behaviour for healthcare outcomes.

There are methods to handle passive aggressive behaviour;

One approach is to avoid getting involved in certain situations that could potentially reinforce misbehaviour as suggested by Manly.

Another method involves pointing out any discrepancies between someones words and actions without passing judgment as recommended by Klapow. For example you could say; “Earlier you expressed support for my decision but I noticed that your memo had the effect. Can you help me understand why this happened?”

It’s important to note that frustration may arise when ineffective strategies are employed since unmet desires can persist. Klapow suggests that aggressive behaviour often stems from fear or difficulties, in communication resulting in individuals unintentionally acting out in such a manner.